Virginia L. Williams
stillbirth resources
Why a link to stillbirth resources on a writer's website, you ask? In
2003, I lost my son, Ben, three days before his due date to an
umbilical cord accident. My life changed forever that day, and it has
become my mission in life to help others like me survive the
devastation of losing the most precious thing in the world.
For the last two years, I've been blogging about life--and parenting--after a loss at www.landofbrokenhearts.blogspot.com, as well as working on a memoir of living without Ben. I've gathered some useful resources in that time, and hope that some of them may help you.
If you have come here because you've lost a child of your own, I am so, so very sorry. Things will get better, I promise, but life will never be the same.
Books:
They Were Still Born: Personal Stories about Stillbirth, edited by Janel Atlas -- A collection of stories by stillbirth parents and grandparents, this book is an excellent resource for anyone learning to survive an infant death. It's also a valuable tool for friends and family who may not know what to say or do in the aftermath. Full disclosure: I wrote the first chapter of the book, "What No One Tells You."
An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination, by Elizabeth McCracken -- This wonderful memoir tells simply and beautifully of the loss of McCracken's first child. This book will give you hope for life after loss; "It's a happy life, but someone is missing," writes McCracken, and one day you will believe this too.
Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby, by Deborah L. Davis Ph.D. -- This is the first book I turned to after Ben died, and it will walk you through all stages of loss and recovery, from the immediate loss and physical aches and pains after delivery, through to a father's grief, talking with any surviving siblings about the loss, remembering your baby and trying again.
Life Touches Life: A Mother's Story of Stillbirth and Healing, by Lorraine Ash -- Another first-person account of stillbirth discusses faith and God, getting through the holidays, and learning to accept that she will not have any living children.
My short e-book, When the Baby Dies: A Guide for Parents After a Stillbirth, is available for download at Smashwords.com, for a small fee. It's short and to the point, offering newly bereaved parents only the information they need to know to navigate their way through the first few weeks of a loss.
Organizations:
Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, http://www.nationalshareoffice.com, provides newsletters, support resources, fundraising for research, message boards and even training for nurses and physicians who deal with infant loss.
BabyKick Alliance, a leading advocate for Kick Count prevention of stillbirth, offers links to helpful articles and associations here: http://www.babykickalliance.org/stillbirthResources.asp
The MISS Foundation provides crisis support and long-term aid to families experiencing the death of a child at any age. Its founder, Joanne Cacciatore, lost a daughter to stillbirth in 1994. Their website is here: http://www.missfoundation.org/About_MISS/index.html
The Haven Network, Northern Illinois' Perinatal Hospice & Bereavement Center, offers support to parents experiencing stillbirth, miscarriage, or a terminal diagnosis for their soon-to-be-born child. http://www.thehavennetwork.org/index.php
The Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Blog Directory lists dozens of blogs written by parents like me, some having experienced miscarriage or early infant death, some with older children, some with no surviving children, and some trying again. Every one of them has been right where you are, all with their own unique perspective on living again after loss. My own blog, In the Land of Broken Hearts, is listed in their directory.
House Bill H.R. 3212; Senate Bill S1445:
First Candle is pleased to announce that the Stillbirth and SUID Prevention, Education and Awareness Act of 2009 was filed on July 14 by Senator Frank Lautenberg, D-NJ. A companion bill was filed in the House by Frank Pallone, Jr., D-NJ-6. This bill would improve the collection of critical data to determine the causes of stillbirth, SIDS and SUID, increase education and awareness about how to prevent these tragedies in the future and expand support services for families who have experienced a stillbirth, SIDS or SUID loss.. (From the website of First Candle.)
To learn more about this bill, please click on the link in the above paragraph, and write to your Congresspeople. (First Candle has a letter template you may use for your convenience.) Researchers believe that as many as 50% of stillbirths can be prevented, with proper research into its causes.
For the last two years, I've been blogging about life--and parenting--after a loss at www.landofbrokenhearts.blogspot.com, as well as working on a memoir of living without Ben. I've gathered some useful resources in that time, and hope that some of them may help you.
If you have come here because you've lost a child of your own, I am so, so very sorry. Things will get better, I promise, but life will never be the same.
Books:
They Were Still Born: Personal Stories about Stillbirth, edited by Janel Atlas -- A collection of stories by stillbirth parents and grandparents, this book is an excellent resource for anyone learning to survive an infant death. It's also a valuable tool for friends and family who may not know what to say or do in the aftermath. Full disclosure: I wrote the first chapter of the book, "What No One Tells You."
An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination, by Elizabeth McCracken -- This wonderful memoir tells simply and beautifully of the loss of McCracken's first child. This book will give you hope for life after loss; "It's a happy life, but someone is missing," writes McCracken, and one day you will believe this too.
Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby, by Deborah L. Davis Ph.D. -- This is the first book I turned to after Ben died, and it will walk you through all stages of loss and recovery, from the immediate loss and physical aches and pains after delivery, through to a father's grief, talking with any surviving siblings about the loss, remembering your baby and trying again.
Life Touches Life: A Mother's Story of Stillbirth and Healing, by Lorraine Ash -- Another first-person account of stillbirth discusses faith and God, getting through the holidays, and learning to accept that she will not have any living children.
My short e-book, When the Baby Dies: A Guide for Parents After a Stillbirth, is available for download at Smashwords.com, for a small fee. It's short and to the point, offering newly bereaved parents only the information they need to know to navigate their way through the first few weeks of a loss.
Organizations:
Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, http://www.nationalshareoffice.com, provides newsletters, support resources, fundraising for research, message boards and even training for nurses and physicians who deal with infant loss.
BabyKick Alliance, a leading advocate for Kick Count prevention of stillbirth, offers links to helpful articles and associations here: http://www.babykickalliance.org/stillbirthResources.asp
The MISS Foundation provides crisis support and long-term aid to families experiencing the death of a child at any age. Its founder, Joanne Cacciatore, lost a daughter to stillbirth in 1994. Their website is here: http://www.missfoundation.org/About_MISS/index.html
The Haven Network, Northern Illinois' Perinatal Hospice & Bereavement Center, offers support to parents experiencing stillbirth, miscarriage, or a terminal diagnosis for their soon-to-be-born child. http://www.thehavennetwork.org/index.php
The Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Blog Directory lists dozens of blogs written by parents like me, some having experienced miscarriage or early infant death, some with older children, some with no surviving children, and some trying again. Every one of them has been right where you are, all with their own unique perspective on living again after loss. My own blog, In the Land of Broken Hearts, is listed in their directory.
House Bill H.R. 3212; Senate Bill S1445:
First Candle is pleased to announce that the Stillbirth and SUID Prevention, Education and Awareness Act of 2009 was filed on July 14 by Senator Frank Lautenberg, D-NJ. A companion bill was filed in the House by Frank Pallone, Jr., D-NJ-6. This bill would improve the collection of critical data to determine the causes of stillbirth, SIDS and SUID, increase education and awareness about how to prevent these tragedies in the future and expand support services for families who have experienced a stillbirth, SIDS or SUID loss.. (From the website of First Candle.)
To learn more about this bill, please click on the link in the above paragraph, and write to your Congresspeople. (First Candle has a letter template you may use for your convenience.) Researchers believe that as many as 50% of stillbirths can be prevented, with proper research into its causes.
